Republican Leaders Invited to Bring Their Blocking Skills to the NFL

Having proven their otherworldly obstructionist abilities on Capitol Hill, Republican leaders are welcomed to the gridiron with open arms.

“I encourage all GOP leaders to work out with the team this spring,” said one top NFL coach. “Those guys can block like nobody’s business.”

Said another NFL insider, “Nobody shuts things down completely like the Republicans.” “Those guys could make time stand still in the pocket AND on the House floor.”

“If I were a quarterback, I sure would want elected Repulican leaders on my O-line,” said a player who did not wish to be identified. “I’m not going to name names, but a certain team in purple and gold could have used some of those guys to protect their three-time MVP last week.”

Will our elected GOP leaders answer their true calling? Tune in next season to find out.